Literally. I was a little taken aback by the silence of visitors to the blog over the past few days and wondered aloud although to myself if it was the topic choices for the last few posts or just a general malaise in readership.
I have to believe it is the subject matter. Now, let me be very careful here. I’m fine with the silence on some levels. I suppose I’m not unlike most anyone who has a blog. One would be encouraged by visits and likes and comments and subscriptions. I am a man, and unfortunately at times, a man with a level of pride. So when things went silent in this particular part of my world, I reflected instead of reacting.
The question to myself was why do I even have the blog. I started it to get somethings out of my head and in a format that I could share with others and refer back to for myself and hopefully say, I helped someone with my thoughts and words. I believe there is a level of narcissism in every blogger. What we have to say is important enough to take the time to craft it and write it. So it must be important to others because, well, we thought of it, wrote it and shared it with the greater world.
Is what I have to say really that important? In matters of hiking and hammocks, am I really going to change the life of another person in a significant manner? Who knows, but in my own estimation, not likely. In matters of sharing my life experiences, is that really going to do anything for another person other than perhaps make them laugh, either at me or with me, or say to themselves, “I hear ya brother. Been there, seen that, got the T-shirt”. I can spend a great deal of time talking on several topics about which I have a world of experience and knowledge by the sheer fact of my age and time put in. Will any of that change someones life in a significant manner? Sincerely? I doubt that.
In matters of faith, I feel differently. I have to. I have every reason to believe that the sharing of the Gospel, the good news, is that revolutionary, that life altering, that eternity changing that for me to not speak about it or on it would be a tragedy. I mean, how much would I need to hate someone to withhold something that could improve their life here, now and offer them an eternity as well? Take heaven out of it and just look at the emotional, psychological and practical benefits of following Christ. How much must I hate someone, anyone, everyone to keep that to myself and just hope they make it through? You say you don’t hate people and I believe you but do you keep silent if you see someone about to walk obliviously in front of a bus? Or drink something you know to be lethal? I think you wouldn’t. I hope you wouldn’t.
Postings about my faith aren’t about what I’m doing right then. They are about who I am. Faith is not what I do. It is who I am. It affects and informs every part of my life both casual and serious. The other stuff I post on is what I’m doing. Faith is what I am being. There is a huge difference.
This post was not an opportunity to vent or wag my digital finger at the world of WordPress and it’s bloggers. More to reassure and reaffirm why I even bother doing this. I want to share some of who I am. The narcissist, the outdoors-man, the tinkerer, the philosopher, and the man of faith. If that helps someone then, wow, what a bonus. If no one reads this or a million people read it, then so be it. In the end, the only person I owe an explanation to is God above. That day is coming, sooner than I would like, or perhaps not soon enough some days. He is my rock and my fortress. My ever present help. His steadfast love endures forever. I want everyone to know Him as I know Him and I want to know Him more deeply today than yesterday.
So, I’ll keep talking. Hopefully, someone will listen. In the hush….I KNOW God is listening.